"The Absorbent Mind" Book Club

For those who have expressed interest in The Absorbent Mind Book Club, it has begun! We will be reading the first chapter for Thursday, May 7th, 2009. If you have recieved an invitation and still want to be involved, please accept. If you have a look at the blog and decide that you are interested, please see the previous two posts on this blog to find out how to join.

"Absorbent Mind" Organisation - Plus Easter Photos

Eli and Henry at Two Months Old

Eli (left) and Henry (right) on April 2, 2009

[If you just want to skip to information on the "Absorbent Mind" challenge, just scroll down to where I've written that in bold.]

It has been a few weeks of sickness, quarantine, and busyness but I have not forgotten about the "Absorbent Mind" challenge. I must apologize for allowing all the other interesting challenges to get in my way. Ella had a terrible 'flu, which meant separating her from the boys and Derek and me from each other. Derek and Ella got the living room. It's a good thing our couch is very wide so they could both sleep on it. Henry, Eli, and I got the master bedroom. Sometimes Ella would stand at the door to our room and ask, with the saddest, most pitiful voice, "Mummy, will you hold up Henry/Eli so I can see him and say "hello" to him?" Derek and I would occasionally meet up in the bathroom, him on a quest to empty and clean the (so-called) "barf bucket," and me to get damp facecloths, a glass of water, or more wet wipes. But if we were able to, and took the time to get in a hug or kiss, then I had to change my clothes and "scrub in" again before rejoining the boys. We went through a lot of instant hand sanitizer!

Then Derek caught the 'flu just as Ella was getting better. This resulted in my first-ever foray into the outside world with three children in tow. The normally simple trip to the bank and run for a few errands was greatly complicated by this, and took much longer than usual. But, we all survived. Everything took a lot longer with two babies and a preschooler, resulting in a late arrival home after a 9:00 pm supper at Subway. Since Derek had ensconced himself in the master bedroom, with frequent runs to the bathroom, Ella and I made up a "bed" for her on the floor. It turned out to be rather a nest of blankets and pillows, but it served the purpose. I took the couch and put the boys in their bouncy seats. Ella really enjoyed "camping out" in the living room. The couch did become rather squishy, though, when at some point in the wee hours of the morning I tried to move only to discover that there was no where to which I could move as all three children had somehow ended up on the couch with me. Ella I could understand. She at least has great powers of mobility. I'm guessing the Eli and Henry had contrived to get me to fall asleep while nursing them.

The next day the children and I evacuated the premises, putting Derek in solitary quarantine, and we retreated to my mother's house. Derek had no sooner recovered than he was thrust into Easter weekend. All's well that ends well, but it's a week past Easter and we're still recovering! Mum says that we're living in perpetual "survival mode." She's not entirely wrong.

In the midst of all this insanity, Eli and Henry turned two months. During Ella's first year we did a "photo shoot" every month, so how could I do less for my boys? We did simplify, but I got their pictures nonetheless.

Eli Derek, two months old

Henry Harold, two months old

It's not hard to tell that they've been gaining quickly since getting home. They are quite aware that they have unlimited access to food twenty-four hours a day, and they take advantage of the fact! How wonderful to see their bodies filling in all that excess skin. They really look like babies now, not just minuscule old men.

ABSORBENT MIND CHALLENGE INFORMATION:

Well, we've got ten people who want to read The Absorbent Mind together, and a couple who want to "audit" the discussions, so it's time to get started. There are two different options for our group. Please think about each option and vote for the option you like the best.

1. Have an Absorbent Mind Yahoo! group. That would mean that we'd communicate primarily through e-mails and/or at the Yahoo! group site. We could post files for others to download, and we wouldn't have to constantly be checking a specific website. It is easy, using this method, to make quick comments on something someone else has said. This format lends itself to briefer posts and would have more of a feel of an actual, spoken discussion. That said, it's less "tidy" in the sense that it would be easy to get multiple threads going on the same topic, which can be confusing, and there wouldn't be any quick-and-easy way to read through the discussion notes in order and properly organized.
2. Have an Absorbent Mind blog. I would create the blog and then invite each of you to join as authors. We could chose to make it an open or closed blog. Each blog entry could be on one chapter (or a specific portion of one chapter) and the discussion would continue in the comments. This format would work well if we want to have longer comments, lending itself to an essay-like first post with more complete responses, dealing with the chapter/book portion in a methodical way. Of course, this would mean having to check a website on a frequent basis, and more carefully considering such things as formatting and grammar.

One way sounds like it would be perfect for the free-thinking, artistic type and the other for the analytical, mathematical type. I'd say, "let's do both!" but it would be impractical.

The other think I need to know in order to get us started is your e-mail addresses. If we do a blog I'll have to send out a specific invitation to each of you, and if we do a Yahoo! group I'll want to know that those applying to become members are actually the folks who want to participate or listen in. (Oh, those who want to "audit" this group, so to speak, are always welcome to add their thoughts and opinions as well.)

So, I'll ask those who responded indicating that they wanted to be involved in The Absorbent Mind challenge to respond to this post, letting me know which way you'd prefer the group to "meet" and what your e-mail address is.

PLEASE NOTE: The comments you submit that contain personal information - in this case, your e-mail address - will be REJECTED and will never show up on this website. The only person who will see that information is me... or possibly my husband if he happens to download the e-mail before I get to it. The information will only be used by me and I will not be sending unsolicited mail to you.

Just wanted to make that clear! Now, for a few pictures from Easter!

Ella and Her Bunnies: Sarah and Myis


The Proud Big Sister and Her Easter Treat: Eli!
(Eli's not sure that he wants to be in the basket.)


Ella Enjoys Henry.
He is the spitting image of Ella as a baby.

"The Absorbent Mind" Challenge

Eli (in blue) and Henry (in green)

It's almost 2 am here, and I'm up nursing Eli and am again thinking about something I've been wanting to do ever since the boys were born. I remember reading Maria Montessori's The Absorbent Mind and thinking that it really applied well to infancy. Many of the things I learned in that book I had already, instinctively, done with Ella. But it's time to brush up!

Books are always more enjoyable when you have someone to discuss them with, and so I'm throwing out a challenge (an easy one): who would like to read The Absorbant Mind with me? We'll be doing it at a leisurely pace, perhaps over 2-3 months, giving ourselves lots of time to absorb and discuss it.

There are a few different ways we can do this and I haven't decided which way we'd go yet. It would be nice to have the imput of others who want to be involved first. So grab your copy, or buy or borrow, and sign up! The more opinions the more interesting our reading will be. I have yet to get my own copy of the book, so you have time to get one too. Perhaps we can begin mid-April?

If you are interested, please respond to this post. In a few days (around April 1st) I will post again to co-ordinate those who wish to be involved. If you don't want to join in the reading and discussions but you do want to see our discussions, please let me know that too, just so I know whether our posts/messages should be public or not. Understand, though, that the final decision of whether our discussion is public or private will be up to the entire group, not just me.

Hope to hear from you soon!

My Boys

Photos by me. Beautiful afgan background by Zirbert's wife, she of the magic sticks and string!

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity-Jigg

Ella, Eli, Henry, and Me

On their first morning out of the hospital

Well, it only took six weeks, and now our family is finally all together! Life has suddenly improved exponentially. Though we are still doing our share of running around, mostly to doctors' appointments.

Almost the moment the staph infection was under control Henry began to complain vehemently about his diminished rations. They began gavage feedings again, but he remained unappeased. He wanted to eat. But between the bowel infection and the staph infection it had been a long time since he'd nursed and he just couldn't remember how to latch. He was so frustrated because he knew he had done it before. So for a time breastfeeding became alternately trying to help him latch and trying to calm him down.

Until that time I had never had any problem with breastfeeding. I remember thinking shortly after Ella was born, "Why on earth did I go to a class to learn this? It's so easy!" Of course it was easy for me - and for Ella. She came out, looked around, and asked, "Where's the food?" and upon latching I could hear her thinking, "Now that's what I'm talkin' about!"

Even though the boys were born "too early" to have the instinct to suckle Henry arrived already knowing how and Eli was just a day or so behind him. In Eli's case it wasn't so much that he didn't know what to do, but more that he didn't expect the usual results! The first time he latched and suckled his surprise was hilarious. Once he tasted milk his eyes flew open in shock, he yanked himself backwards, and stared at my breast as if to say, "What just happened?!" Eating by mouth took some getting used to in his case. After he had come to accept the consequences of suckling he picked up the skill very quickly.

Henry's difficulties helped me understand to a greater degree the plight through which many breastfeeding mothers go. Though I didn't become frustrated as he was attempting and failing to latch, I completely understood why other mothers, especially first-time mothers, would become extremely frustrated themselves. As I'd already had years of successful breastfeeding (2 1/2 to be exact) I really didn't have any fear that I couldn't, nor did I fear Henry being unable to feed. He had done so before, so it was just a matter of remembering and practicing. Part of his issue was impatience: being so frantic to get milk that he wouldn't stop bobbing around and trying to suck at anything he found, not taking the time to get a decent latch. That aspect of his feeding problem continues; if he'd just slow down and relax he wouldn't get nearly so upset! (I have told him this, but it doesn't seem to help. We'll have to continue with lessons on comprehension of the English language.)

Henry - trying to decide if his car seat is edible

Establishing breastfeeding was so important in the boys' cases because they needed to be able to have the energy and ability to take all their feedings by mouth, eliminating the need for the nasogastric tube. Because of Henry's infections, Eli met this goal several days before him. But by that time Henry was taking about 80% of his feedings orally, either by breast or bottle, so we knew they were very close to discharge.

As excited as we were by that prospect, Derek was worried about one thing - since Christmas (when I'd received a gift certificates both for the movies and for East Side Mario's) we'd been planning on going out on a date. My husband had been reminding me that it would be our last chance to go on a date for the next 18 years!

Ella and I get Eli into his car seat for the trip home.

So, the night before discharge we sent Ella to Mum's and we hit the town. Most dates don't end how ours did, however. After a wonderful evening we headed back to the hospital so I could go up to the NICU and pump! Home was just too far away and it was a frigid night so pumping in the car was not an option.

Ella - ready to take her brothers home

You know how, as a kid, you look forward to Christmas for weeks and weeks? You think, you plan, you anticipate the arrival of that day with so much excitement and joy. The day we brought our boys home was like that. The anticipation is so great that you don't think the actual event could possibly live up to it, but in this case it did.

Because of some vehicular issues, we couldn't take our boys directly home, but ended up going from the hospital to my parents' for the night. They graciously gave up their room to Derek, Eli, Henry, and me because the spare bedroom in their house is freezing (for some reason it gets very little heat). Although not what we'd expected, it was a blessing. My father got to hold his grandsons for the first time, which he had been looking forward to. And, after a long, mostly sleepless night, I got to sleep in as there were plenty of other folks around who wanted to take care of the boys!

Derek - tired but happily holding Eli

Having Eli and Henry with us all the time has been bliss - bleary-eyed, brain-fried bliss. Between them and Ella we are kept constantly busy all day and boy do they ever go through diapers! At nights, though, they aren't all that bad - especially when I compare them to Ella in infancy. Perhaps because we keep our room dark at night (compared to the NICU's constant lighting) they've been tending to sleep for four hours straight, then they wake, eat, and get their diapers changed, a process that takes anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half, and again sleep for four hours. When I remember Ella's every-two-hours-without-fail night wakings (which lasted for almost two years!), I feel I'm positively well-rested.

It has been a joy, getting to know our sons in our own environment, without the constant presence of others. Henry is very demanding and impatient, wanting a lot of attention. If he's hungry and you have to first change his diaper he will protest loudly until he gets his milk. He also wants to be held all the time. If he falls asleep in your arms and you try to transfer him to a crib or pack-and-play you are almost guaranteed to hear him screaming within the next five minutes. He's also very strong and determined. He can manipulate his body in order to get himself into very interesting positions and places, so we have to keep an eye on him. And when he's awake, he is unfailingly curious. It's very difficult to hold him in the traditional burping position (vertical, against your chest) as he always pushes himself backwards with his hands so he can see all around himself. I don't doubt he'll keep us on our toes!

Eli tends to be more relaxed, most of the time. He does love attention, but doesn't always demand it. Like his brother he wants to be held a lot. I wonder if this is due to being in isolettes for so long while in the NICU. When there they didn't get nearly as much human contact as most newborn babies, and when they were getting attention it was usually because there was some medical procedure that had to be done, so it was unpleasant attention. Now they can get all the snuggles they want, and they want them a lot! Eli, provided he's not hungry and has a clean diaper, will generally lay quite contentedly in a bouncy chair provided someone is around touching him, talking to him, or even making noise in the same room as him. He just likes having folks around. When held in the burping position, Eli will just curl right up and snuggle, often enjoying himself so much he relaxes and falls asleep. He's also pretty good at self-soothing, having discovered that a thumb can be a pleasant appendage, especially when he's waiting for food. And if a diaper change is necessary before milk time, as soon as you begin to do the diaper change he settles down until the change is over before "reminding" you that he's hungry. Whereas Henry goes all-out crying to get what he needs, Eli will give a loud cry and then stop and wait to see if he gets the desired results. If not, he cries out again. Only if you ignore him does he really yowl.

They're both very smart, too smart in some ways! Eli figured out (sneaky boy that he is) that when he wants Mummy, no one else, just Mummy, all he has to do is pretend to be hungry. He did this in the hospital, refusing to accept the bottle that the nurse was trying to give him but rooting around anyway. When she finally gave up and handed him to me to try nursing, he did nothing more than give a little suckle and then he pulled away, smiled up at me, laid his head on my breast and went to sleep! I don't know if he told Henry about that trick, but now Henry's doing it too.

And on Tuesday, when we had a doctor's appointment for the boys, they had an uncanny sense that they were in a medical environment. From the moment that we entered the examination room until the doctor finally left, they both screamed. In fact, every time she came toward them with a medical instrument they howled even louder. They fought everything she tried to do, even something so innocuous as a stethoscope they tried to get away from. After she left the room, however, they both settled down quite happily! It was kind of spooky, and almost funny.

But, having that doctor's appointment made one thing very clear; feeding less frequently since arriving home has done them no harm, so they must be getting more than they did before! Eli had gained a pound - in just a few days! And Henry was up half a pound. They both weighed in at 5 lbs. 8 oz., making them positively hefty compared to when they were born. Getting to self-regulate their feedings, both in terms of frequency and volume has been a very good thing indeed.

Ella and her brothers - who are evidently feeling camera-shy!

Our next big challenge is going to be establishing a routine - one that includes such things as housework and getting the nursery ready.

One Month Old

Henry Harold - One Month Old, 4 lbs. 4 oz. - and a very sick little fellow indeed.


Eli Derek - 4 lbs. - growing and thriving.


Ella holds Eli. She loves holding her baby brothers! She often asks, "Are Eli and Henry ever coming home?" We all look forward to that day!


Henry has had a rough time of it in the last week and a half. He had a bacterial infection in his bowels, resulting in a lot of blood in his feces. So he was separated from Eli, put on antibiotics and an IV (for food) and they stopped feeding him breast milk. A week later, when they resumed his feedings (albeit, smaller doses) the problem seemed to have resolved completely. He'd had several bowel movements with no blood. That night (Saturday) we'd heaved a sigh of relief and went home.

Shortly before midnight we were rung by the on-call paediatrician who told us that Henry had been having frequently repeated apnea episodes. Basically, his heart rate would slow down significantly and his breathing would stop. For a couple hours his nurse couldn't leave his side, constantly having to stimulate him to start his breathing again. These apnea episodes are not uncommon in premature infants, but since Henry had never had any episodes before, and he was only two days away from being a month old, they knew something else was causing this.

He was intubated (put on a respirator to keep him breathing) and he had a lumbar puncture (spinal tap), blood work, and stool samples taken. The doctor suspected a blood infection of some sort and he wanted to rule out meningitis. At issue was that the test results would take from 24 to 48 hours to come back which would give the infection (whatever it was) that much time to spread. So they began him on two strong antibiotics. Derek and I packed an overnight bag, woke Ella (who was less than pleased with the sleep interruption) and went to my parents' to drop her off. Then we headed to the hospital.

We arrived at 3:30 am, scrubbed in (standard procedure for the NICU) and went to see our boys. Henry was white as parchment, despite having been on the respirator for a couple hours. Evidently his hemoglobin was low as well. He was definitely a very sick little fellow. We stayed overnight (if you can call a four hour sleep "overnight") and most of the next day. There was a snow storm coming, so Derek left to go to Mum's so he could be with Ella and I stayed with Eli and Henry. We didn't want to be stuck at the hospital and unable to get to Ella and we didn't want to end up stuck at home and unable to get to the boys, so splitting up made sense.

Henry began to improve while on the respirator and antibiotics and the test results came back that he did not have meningitis but another kind of blood infection: gram positive cocci (commonly known as a staph infection or staphylococcal sepsis), which is pretty nasty, but not as nasty as meningitis. He began to get his colour back, at least somewhat, and by the time I left the hospital (Tuesday afternoon) he was much improved, off the respirator, and energetic enough to put up a fuss from 3:30 am to 5:00 am. Needless to say, I'm exhausted!

So we're all heaving a sigh of relief that the antibiotics are working, that he continues to improve (his nurse told me he's getting very active again), and that he's again able to have regular feedings of breast milk.

One of the nice side-effects of me being in the neonatal unit so long is that Eli got to do a lot of breastfeeding, establishing his ability at nursing very well. He still doesn't have quite enough energy to take all of his feedings that way, but he could take several feedings or half-feedings a day that way. And he was able to be transferred from an isolette to a regular cot. So now he's wearing real clothes and as long as he's well bundled up he's able to maintain his own heat. Occasionally he has gotten a little bit cool, but I told him if he'd only keep his hat on that wouldn't be such an issue!

It will be a glorious day when both boys are well enough to come home from the hospital. Until then we continue to do a lot of travelling back and forth to Mum's and to the hospital. It's tiring and stressful, but we keep reminding ourselves that, in general, the boys are doing well and that this too shall pass.

A humorous side-note:
On the night we rushed to the hospital, first dropping Ella off at Mum and Dad's, Ella evidently woke up a bit confused early in the morning. According to Mum she sat straight up in bed, looked around, and asked, "What is going on here?" Mum reminded her about Henry's illness and she laid back down and fell asleep again almost immediately!

Introducing...

Henry Harold, born on February 2nd, 2009. 45cm long, 4 lbs. 2 oz.


AND

Eli Derek, born February 2nd, 2009. 40 cm long, 3 lbs. 11 oz.

Both boys are doing remarkably well considering their very early arrival. Neither needed to be put on oxygen and both are very active. Eli has gotten himself the nickname "Wild Man" by the nurses as he is so successful at removing all his IVs, monitors, and tubes. Henry is pretty good at getting them out too, but he is more interested in moving around his isolette and getting into interesting and awkward positions. Both are still being fed predominantly by gavage (a tube to the stomach) though Henry has figured out how to latch and has begun to breastfeed for up to half his feedings when I'm there.

The early arrival occurred when, on the morning of February 2nd, as we were preparing to head to the hospital for an ultrasound, Henry broke his water. Talk about a shock! As it turns out, I would have been giving birth ASAP anyways as I had been quickly developping pre-eclampsia complicated by HELLP Syndrome. I spent the day, following the boys' birth, drifting in and out of consciousness, pretty much unaware of what was going on. I was in the ICU for two days until they were able to stabilize me. Because my kidneys and liver had stopped functioning I swelled up like the Michelin man. For some reason that defies explanation, both of the boys and I also had high levels of pottasium. Evidently that can be bad!

Eventually with medication expirimentation it came down in all of us. All my organs are on their way back to normal again. I stayed in hospital for two weeks and now we're doing a lot of running back and forth to visit the boys who will be in the NICU until they have gained sufficient weight and are also able to take all their feedings by bottle or breast.

Montessori Mathematics: The Complete Bead Material - Part 3

Nope, I'm not dead yet! It's been too long since my last post, but for me, at least, that time has flown. Between Christmas preparations, having our computer sent away to get fixed, and perpetual exhaustion, fewer things get time and attention, my blog being one of them.

That doesn't mean I've been skipping out on materials making. I've got a fair bit done, and now I have pictures! Here's my work to date:

My first priority was getting the bead bars ready so we could learn the snake game and do various additions and subtractions up to ten. Then it was getting one copy for each number of the squares and cubes (of course, I needed more than one ten square - I needed ten in order to continue with the golden bead material). My eight, nine, and ten cubes are not yet completed, but eight and ten are coming along quickly. And my short (square) and long (cubing) chains are just barely beginning. We won't need those for a little while though.

As you can see, I've been using the plastic canvas to steady the cubes and squares. Take my advice: when beginning a cube, start in the MIDDLE and spiral your way out. The first one I tried I began at the corner and that was a mess!

Also, for the long and short chains, you'd be wise to pick up some jump rings or split rings (they're in the jewelry making/beading section of any craft store among the other findings). I tried making them myself, but it's very difficult and time-consuming. If you buy the rings, you can simply make a bunch of bead bars and then link them together. Otherwise there's a bunch of fussing and fidgeting to get bead bars attached.

I'm sure that many of you have anticipated this: as I am having (soon!) two baby boys, my life is about to become much more complex. My plans as far as the blog goes are to leave it up, post when I can, and try to update the blog as materials are made and as pictures are taken. Perhaps as the boys age I will get to post more often, but better a little than none!